The “Making Bets In A Burning House” Podcast
Our goal is to amplify the voices and experiences of those who, just like us, have had our lives set ablaze by a loved one’s gambling addiction. We believe that it’s these stories that show us not just that we’re not alone in the blaze, but that we’re also capable of firefighting in the healthiest and loving ways.
Do you have a story to share, hope to offer, inspiration to ignite? Fill out the brief questionnaire and well be in touch: https://forms.gle/3sP4aXAjkXfaqxCf9
Ep. 1:
Melissa’s Story
In this episode, Melissa shares her journey through her 1st & 2nd husbands’ gambling addictions. Trigger Warning: intimate partner abuse, domestic violence, suicide; language.
Ep. 2:
Kat’s Story
In this episode, Kat shares her story of discovering her husband’s gambling addiction. Trigger Warning: child abuse, emotional abuse, suicidal ideation; language.
Ep. 3:
Surfacing Hope
In this episode, Kat and Melissa tackle one of the hardest topics when it comes to living with a compulsive gambler: hope. Each shares how they found hope from within and outside of the flames consuming their lives, and finding peace. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 4:
What Do You Do When Kids Are Involved?
In this episode, Kat and Melissa discuss something that makes living life with gambling addiction more complicated than ever: kiddos. Kat shares her experiences of trying to heal her then-9 and -11 year olds. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 5:
The Beginning
In this episode, Kat and Melissa discuss their initial confrontation with gambling with the hope that their experiences and knowledge can help you navigate your own. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 6:
Stay or Go?
In this episode, Kat and Melissa discuss the options presented to loved ones with a compulsive gambler in their life: work through the house fires, or run? Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 7, Part 1:
Dr. Michelle Malkin, JD & PhD
In this episode, Part 1, Melissa is joined by Dr. Michelle Malkin, Assistant Professor of Criminal Justice and Criminology and the Director of the Gambling Research and Policy Initiative (GRPI) at East Carolina University. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 8, Part 2:
Dr. Michelle Malkin, JD & PhD
This episode is the second half of Melissa’s conversations with Dr. Malkin about gambling-related harms & gambling-motivated crime and risk of historically oppressed, marginalized, and under-researched populations. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 9:
Don’t 101: Enabling
Kat and Melissa tackle the frustrations and complications that come with the first directive for friends and families of compulsive gamblers: stop enabling. But, what is enabling, really? What does it look like? And, how can loved one’s support their gambling addicts without doing this? Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 10:
The Neurobiology of Gambling Addiction
Join Melissa in her conversation with Rick Smith, co-founder of Mental Health Counseling and Consultants. He’ll help us understand the neurobiology of gambling addiction and how loved ones can protect themselves and help their compulsive gamblers in the recovery process. Trigger Warning: Suicide, Language
Ep. 11:
The Big T: Trust
We tackle a common question family and friends of compulsive gamblers ask at the start of and throughout their recovery: When does the trust come back ? This topic is a big one and Kat and Mouse are here to talk through their experience of it. Trigger Warning: Language, Abuse
Ep. 12:
The Importance of Storytelling
Join Kat and Melissa in their conversation with Ted Hartwell, former Executive Director, now Director of Storytelling for the Nevada Council on Problem Gambling, and learn more about the importance of speaking our stories to our healing and recovery process. Trigger Warning: Suicide, Language
Ep. 13:
Debunking the Myth of “I’m Fine”
After a lengthy side conversation, Kat and Melissa invite us to consider what that phrase “I’m Fine!” actually means, and why it’s such a detriment to our recovery when navigating life with a compulsive gambler. Whether protective or silencing, “Fine” is never this simple. Trigger Warning: Language, Suicide
Ep. 14:
Addiction Recovery Coaching
Kat and Melissa talk with Amanda Lockyer, Addiction Recovery Coach, podcaster, and founder of Addiction Makes 3, a coaching program all about supporting loved ones doing the heavy lifting of loving someone battling addiction. She’ll help us tackle the really hard questions: for them and for ourselves. Trigger Warning: Language.
Ep. 15:
Supporting Kids Who Love A Compulsive Gambler
Join Kat and Melissa in conversation about how we can better support kiddos who have a compulsive gambler in their life. Kat will talk through her children’s workbook and adult facilitator’s guide as she shows us the importance of bringing kids into recovery not just for them, but for their trust adults, too. For more on the books and Kat’s research including where to order, visit the website: www.kvbwritesoutloud.com
Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 16:
The Untangle Project, Supporting Women Affected by Problem Gambling
We’re talking with Anna Martin, lawyer and Founder of The Untangle Project, an innovative healing community in Australia dedicated to supporting women through recovery in their own ways. She’s also a compulsive gambler in long-time recovery who speaks candidly about her experiences and the ways that society can make necessary changes to fight this horrific disease. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 17:
Surprises From Our Gamblers
In this episode, Kat and Melissa explore some of the experiences that caught them off guard in as they discovered their ex-husbands’ gambling addiction. In discussing these unwelcome surprises they hope you’ll be prepared. Trigger Warning: Suicide, Language
Ep. 18, Part 1:
When Your Wife is the Compulsive Gambler
Join Kat and Melissa in a conversation with Chad: musician, business owner, father, husband, and fellow 12-stepper. He shares with us his journey to recovery from alcohol addiction, to navigating his wife’s problem gambling. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 19, Part 2:
When Your Wife is the Compulsive Gambler
Join us in part 2 of a conversation with Chad: musician, business owner, father, husband, and fellow 12-stepper. He shares with us his journey to recovery from alcohol addiction, to navigating his wife’s problem gambling. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 20:
Listener Questions, Part 1
The discussion turns over to you as Kat and Melissa do their best to answer some common questions about life with a compulsive gambler in it. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 21:
Rob_Odaat and Online Gambling
Join Kat and Melissa as they chat with Rob_Odaat, founder of ODAAT Gambling Awareness. We’ll talk about his experience of gambling addiction and how his recovery involves calling out the dangers of online betting to the world’s young people in particular. Trigger Warning: Language
Ep. 22:
Make It Stop!
In this episode, Kat and Melissa discuss the surprising things that didn’t stop when they divorced their gamblers, leading them to realize that there’s no magic button that turns off the stress and anxiety of a life with a compulsive gambler. Trigger Warning: Language, Suicide
Ep. 23:
Adolescents, Addiction, & Problem Gambling
Kat and Melissa are joined by Paul Lavella, founder & Director of NJ Recovery & Wellness as we learn about his work in behavioral health since 2004 and, particularly, how he helps adolescents and young adults leave addiction behind them.
Ep. 24:
Diane’s Story
Do you have a sign on your head that says, “Stupid”? Diane felt this way when she found out in one night that her husband had been a compulsive gambler for years, committed crimes, and no longer wanted to live. She believed the rug had been pulled out from underneath her life. But she found help and hope from some unlikely sources. Trigger Warning: Language, Suicide
Ep. 25:
Tiye Chambers, Boundary Strategist
Boundaries are essential when loving a compulsive gambler, but knowing what they are and hold to hold them can be wildly challenging. That’s why Kat and Mouse are thrilled to be joined by Tiye Chambers, Boundary Strategist, EQ Enthusiast, Manipulator’s Nightmare, who will teach us about how to do these things, and so much more.
Ep. 26:
Sharon’s Story
Why are you wasting the toothpaste?!? After Sharon found out her husband was hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from gambling, she cracked down on everything to pay it off. She made sacrifices and felt that her husband was not. Toothpaste is what sent her over the edge. Trigger warning: Talk about suicide and attempted suicide
Ep. 27:
Cyclic Behaviors with Rick Smith
We already talked with Rick about the neurobiology of an addicts brain. In this episode, he continues the conversation with cyclic behaviors that both addicts and enablers do. Rick gives us practical tools to help change these behaviors.
Ep. 28:
Tiffany’s Story
When someone we love gets caught in a gambling addiction, there is a lot of conflict. It is not just with the gambler, but in our personal thoughts. Of course, we could simply leave them, but we love them so much and we don’t want to see them hurt. We want to help them, fix them, and in the process, we almost destroy ourselves. Tiffany openly shares her story and takes us through the ups and downs of living with someone who has addictions.
Ep. 29:
Change Is In The Air
I wanted to tell you about some changes with the Podcast. I am also going to take this opportunity to tell you where you can find resources and people who can help you when you find yourself impacted by someone with a gambling addiction.
Ep. 30:
Michael Sciandra
Today we talk with the Executive Director of the Nebraska Council on Problem Gambling, Michael Sciandra. He has been around gambling from a young age. After 5+ years of not placing a bet, he is now helping gamblers and their families to find peace in their lives, just like he has.
402-217-1500
betfreemike@gmail.com
Ep. 31:
What Gam-Anon Is And What It Is Not
Many people do not understand or even know anything about 12-step programs. Today, Melissa and Diane, our new co-host, talk about all the things that Gam-Anon is and what it is not. We hope that this will help clear the air about some misconceptions about what to expect in attending a meeting.
Ep. 32:
Nelson Nghe, Artist
When you are a child, you aren’t expected to be the one who takes care of the family. In Nelson’s case, his family was too busy gambling to take care of him. He is not alone in Australia’s tragic gambling scene. To help others in a similar position understand what gambling harm does, Nelson created art. His pieces tell a story of what it looks like growing up in a family that is obsessed with spending time in the casinos.
Email: info@nelsonart.com.au
Ep. 33:
Things Your Addict Will Say
Addicts will say anything to get you to allow them to continue to gamble. Here are some of the things Diane and I have heard. We hope that this will help you understand what people will do when they are in the grips of an addiction.
Ep. 34:
Dr. Harry Levant
Harry is everywhere; 60 Minutes, CNN, The Whole Story. Now he’s on this podcast! Harry will share his experience as a gambler and how it almost destroyed his life. Then he decided to do something about it. If you have been harmed by someone else’s gambling, please, sign up with FFOG and help us get control of this public health crisis.
FFOG: hurtbygambling.org
Ep. 35:
Trust The Process
This is what therapy should look like. Jody and Robin work together along with many other counselors at The Better Institute, (where you go to get better!) to make sure that everyone is taken care of.
jody@betterinstitute.com
Ep. 36:
Podcasthon Special Edition
The Podcasthon will feature podcasts dedicating an episode to help the charity of their choice. My charity is The Nevada Council on Problem Gambling. Today we are speaking with Ted, the Councils Storyteller. We have spoken with Ted before in Episode 12, if you haven’t heard his story. Today he will tell us exactly what the NVCPG does and how it is helping people impacted by gambling addiction.
DONATE TO: nevadacouncil.org/get-involved/make-contribution/
Ep. 37:
Obstacles to Recovery for the Gambler and Non-Gambler with Rick Smith
Rick is back on the podcast today to talk about things that can hinder recovery. You might be surprised to hear what some of these things are. But the good news is, you can change the way you see recovery.
Ep. 38: Sal Guarino with The Recovery Partners
There are different paths through recovery for everyone. Today, I talk with Sal Guarino from The Recovery Partners to show you another option available for recovery for you and the gambler.
Ep. 39: Dr. Amelia Kelley – Gaslighting and How to Recognize it
We are thrilled to have Dr Amelia Kelley on this weeks episode. She talks with us about what gaslighting is, how we can recognize it, and what we can do to protect ourselves.
Ep. 40: Gemma Nice – Relationship Coach
What is your relationship like with your gambler? Is there any love or does it go straight to hate? Do you want to stay with your gambler or run out the door screaming?
Either way, Gemma is going to help us work on ourselves first so that we can learn to work on our relationships. This can be any relationship, but we need to learn to put ourselves first. We must learn to heal and love ourselves first before we can help the people we love.
Ep. 41: G. Brian Benson
Addicts will say anything to get you to allow them to continue to gamble. Here are some of the things Diane and I have heard. We hope that this will help you understand what people will do when they are in the grips of an addiction.
Ep. 42: Samantha’s Story
There are the typical things that come to mind when people think of gambling. Is day trading one of them?
In this episode, we talk with Samantha who tells us her experience with her ex-husband who lost over $300k with day trading. A lot of that money was a cushion to help their new business make it through start up and then Covid.
Samantha shares insights that we might not think of when we talk about gambling addiction.
Ep. 43: Jodi Holstein
Jodi and I recorded an episode that we played on both our podcasts.
Jodi and I both work with Evive on the other side of gambling addiction. She understands what parents are struggling with when their chid is a gambler. While I understand more what it’s like to be married to a gambler.
Ep. 44: Anita Ondine Smith
We are so excited to have Anita on the podcast today! She found herself in an amazing, loving relationship with Randy Livingston, retired NBA player and professional basketball coach. What she didn’t realize was that he was hiding a gambling addiction from her.
Ep. 45: Chris Hogan
Chris Hogan has been working in the financial world for years. I was delighted and honored when he said that he would come on the podcast to talk with us. I asked him, what do we do when we find out all our money is gone? How can we protect ourselves from this happening again?
Ep. 46: Brittney Collins-Jefferson
Brittney is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has personal experience with gambling addiction. I met her at a presentation of the annual Nevada Council on Problem Gambling conference and I just knew I had to have her on the podcast.
Today, Brittney shares her experience and feelings of being a failure when she decided to divorce her gambler. She knew that she needed to be a role model for herself and break the cycle so that her children grew up happy and healthy. Brittney also talks about learning how to believe you are enough and choosing yourself. I am so inspired by her passion and determination and I think that you will be too!
Ep. 47: Dr Anastasia Hronis
The Dopamine Brain, written by Dr Anastasia Hronis is our topic today. She shares with us how the opportunity to write a book presented itself, what dopamine is, how it impacts all of us, and what we can do to make sure that we are accessing dopamine in a healthy way.
Ep. 48: Magon Peuker
People are doing amazing things in this world and one of them just happens to live right next door to me, Magon Peuker.
This podcast was started for people who have been impacted by problem gambling. I have found that our community has so many other things that we can discuss that can help us build up our own strength. I particularly want to highlight people who have stepped up to change things and are helping others as well.
Today, Magon will share her story about how she wrote three books, became a public speaker, started a Foundation, and is in the process of scheduling an amazing benefit dinner in our amazing town.
I know that there are things in Magon’s story that all of us can relate to, whether it’s addiction, losing yourself, or being a mom. She not only rose from the ashes of her previous life, she created a community filled with people helping people. By telling her story, Magon shares that we are never alone, but sometimes we have to build the community and bring others in with a huge hug!